I was asked a very simple fashion related question today, a question which led to a whole range of thoughts and opinions regarding fashion and my personal style, my friends, my security in my image, and of course, what to change and how to change all that is wrong with this particular picture…

Confused?

Me too, a bit… I’ll explain.

Darling girlfriend, let’s call her ‘Landon’, came over to my silly apartment, we had planned to get dressed together, as it will give us some time to have a girly chat before we met friends at restaurant for dinner.
I declared the fact that I had no clue what to wear, and naturally Landon began to casually look through my closet… ‘God, you have soo many clothes!’ she exclaimed, ‘wow… this is crazy, I can’t even move the hangers, oh this is cool… Wait a minute, how come I’ve never seen you wear this, and this, and that… ‘ she asked.

Landon and I see each other a lot, some might say I spend 50% of my ‘available to hang out with friends time’ with Landon, alone or with others, and the other 50% with a mix of different friends, acquaintances etc…

‘I don’t know’ I replied, ‘actually, I do… I just, I guess there’s never been an appropriate setting, or I’ll feel odd… ‘

She shrugged it off, but continued to question me, as she kept finding more and more items which she had never seen before, some even had tags on them… This is what started the train of thought.

I am already aware that I dress a bit differently from my friends and a lot of the people I know… When we walk into a boutique / shop, I end up buying the things they tend to not even look at, when we go out at night, I am always aware of the huge difference between my choice of clothes and theirs. I am not implying that my friends are not stylish, they are, just in a completely different way… Somehow, and I really do not know how, I am surrounded by glamourous, very done, perfectly manicured and polished girls, and I am the one who keeps a scarf in her handbag as I always running late (after a million outfit changes) and forget to brush or straighten my hair.

Forget all of that, even to the most simple form of explanation… Whilst I tend to dress like let’s say, Mischa Barton, or an Olsen, my friends all seem to dress like, Victoria Beckham. See, they are both stylish, trend conscious fashionistas, but in different ways… Here’s a mood board I created to explain three basic looks, note that myself as ‘Mischa’ is sort of an adaptation of myself to suit Victoria:

Obviously, there are no rules when it comes to fashion… However, though I can admire a Cavalli dress on a friend, I would rather die than wear one!
This makes me feel extremely self conscious, and so I almost always, tone up, tone down, or wear something a bit more to their style (whilst still not totally ignoring mine), and even then, when I show up at a ‘currently cool’ cool club for a party, wearing (party appropriate in my head!) Notify’s glossy black Iberide skinny jeans, loose fitting Love Triangle Top by Nanette Lepore (which I am currently obsessed with - by the way), and a friend shows up in this gold mini dress by Grey Ant, I feel like the odd and start to hate the dress, a mini dress I actually really, really, like and wouldn’t mind owning… If I could wear it over jeans as a top, or maybe over really black tights.

In fact, it occurred to me that the only time I dress truly to please me and myself alone, is when I do things on my own… Which is not very kind way to treat my wardrobe.

(A photo mix of clothes similar to mine and styles I like…)

This is obviously a huge worldwide problem, after all why is Topshop so popular?

So here’s the plan, I will forcefully dress how I like, no more, first change, second change, and third changes… I will always stick with the first plan. Maybe, just maybe, being truer to myself in something as simple as this, might lead to me meeting new people more like me… After all, I really should stop adapting, and start living!

Right?

xx Eden.